


Duality

by Zoisite Ruby (andadobeslabs)



Series: In Time [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Academia, Angst, Drabble Collection, F/M, Future Fic, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Non-Linear Narrative, Past Character Death, Romance, Spoilers for everything, Suicidal Thoughts, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-02-22 21:04:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13175175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andadobeslabs/pseuds/Zoisite%20Ruby
Summary: It's a wonder how they ended up together at all. A girl, gifted by Hydaelyn and raised by the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. A boy, gifted by Zodiark and recruited by the Paragons themselves. If asked, she might quote her father, "That the brightest light might shine, duty did compel me to walk in darkest shade."Reality is much simpler.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after Chapter 27 of In Time, and in some cases well after the events of the fic altogether. I strongly recommend you read In Time before reading this, or you might be very confused! Also worth pointing out, this will be heavily non-linear, though I'll do my best to orient the chapters as I go.
> 
> I took some liberties with Ascian lore here. It seems pretty obvious to me that Elidibus is not going to survive Stormblood, so I created another character to take his place. I've also gone with the interpretation that being an Ascian is comparable to being a Scion, while only a subset of those groups are gifted by either Hydaelyn or Zodiark, and not everyone with those gifts are necessarily affiliated with either faction explicitly. Given what we know so far this seems plausible to me.
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling. This will be updated every other day, alternating with my other fic, Dragonsong. Enjoy!

Urianger waits until Alisaie is asleep, re-reading the letter he’d received that morning to ensure that he’s not wasting his efforts.

_“There is something we must discuss, that which you may prefer to keep undocumented. I bid you join me among the Singing Shards at midnight.”_

He begrudgingly forces himself out of bed, carefully untangling Alisaie’s limbs from his own. She seems unbothered by this, and he celebrates silently, his sixteen years of practice sneaking out of bed to get work done, unsuccessfully, finally paying off at this moment.

A familiar white-clad figure greets him at the entrance of the Stones, facing town rather than the tavern Urianger is exiting. “Were the Singing Shards but conveniently befitting of thy ominous invitation?”

“I was worried you would choose not to join me after all.”

“‘Tis rather fortunate I discovered thee, rather than Alphinaud or the Warrior of Light.”

“Fortunate for me or fortunate for you?” The white-robed Ascian chuckles, “Can’t have the Scions aware of our correspondence.” Urianger resists the urge to sigh, instead crossing his arms defiantly. “I shall meet you at our scheduled location, now that I know you are awake.”

Without even a flash, the Ascian dematerializes, leaving Urianger alone in the night of Mor Dhona, annoyed. This is one of the many reasons Urianger found himself missing Elidibus. While he had his flaws, he at least made an effort to remain succinct. The relatively new Emissary, in contrast, is much more abrasive and condescending. If it were not for the value this partnership offered the Scions, Urianger would not bother. Despite the Emissary's insinuations otherwise, if the Scions were aware of what and who to thank for the peace over the last decade, they would likely be grateful.

He arrives at the Singing Shards already impatient, finding the Emissary leaning against a particularly energetic crystal shard. “On what matter didst thou wish to speak?”

“Ah. You’ve arrived.” Urianger nods, though the Ascian isn't even looking his way. “Have you heard any news from Sharlayan, lately?” Urianger thinks. He’s heard nothing out of the ordinary. “Nay? Not even pertaining your dear daughter and the company she keeps?”

Urianger is genuinely surprised by this topic. The Emissary is hardly one for gossip. “‘Tis little my concern with whom my daughter chooses to share her time.”

“Interesting.” The Ascian stands up straight, a smirk working its way onto his face. “Perhaps it is because of your _lack of interest_ that your child has chosen to seek comfort in one of mine.” After a moment of stunned silence, he continues. “I’ve known you for a long time, Urianger. For your own daughter to turn against her own parents’ organization, I can’t help but wonder where you went wrong. Perhaps-”

“I suggest thee carefully consider thy next words…”

As his smirk transforms into a grin, the Ascian shakes his head. “I did not come here to taunt you, Urianger, as amusing as it may be.” Urianger narrows his eyes. “My concern is not only for your daughter but rather my new initiate, with whom she is quite taken.”

“She is just a child.” Urianger loses his composure for a moment, spitting his words in disgust.

“As is he. A very idealistic one. Only fifteen summers old himself. Upon discovering his gift, he immediately began proposing reform.” Urianger is surprised by how the Emissary seems proud... as if he truly saw his underlings as his own children. “It is no wonder that he sought out a bright and empathetic young woman. He and Edrianne have the potential to enact real change.”

“And on what grounds dost thou believest him to be a cause for concern?”

“The two of them walk a dangerous path, and as you know, both my master and yours can be cruel and unforgiving.” Urianger can hardly deny that. Hydaelyn has been known to strike down Her own followers, no more or less often than Zodiark. “But more importantly, it is my experience that the strong-willed, intelligent, and earnest young Ascians are the most prone to losing control as they grow closer to our master. Zodiark does not tolerate insubordination, and when He catches wind of any betrayal, retaliates subtly, by offering ultimatums and presenting logically sound arguments. If those fail, He often drives them to insanity. Many of our new recruits, particularly the Eorzeans, have tried and failed at what he and your daughter attempt.” He sighs, “It is for that reason I thought it prudent to warn you. Edrianne is still a child, it is well within your power to stop her, should you prefer to spare her this fate.”

Urianger doesn’t even consider what the Emissary offers. He knows firsthand what it’s like to be questioned and doubted. His daughter may be prone to listening to her heart rather than her mind, but in many ways, she is wiser than Urianger himself. What she needs from her father is silent trust, someone for her to fall back on if she doubts herself, but not someone to oversee her every move. He shakes his head and the Emissary shrugs.

“Fair enough, but do not expect me to keep you updated as this unfolds. I have much better things to do than keep tabs on a couple of adolescents.”

He suspects this is untrue, but Urianger nods in agreement. After a few seconds, the Emissary disappears into the night again, leaving Urianger alone with his thoughts.

If he feels overwhelmed, he can only imagine how Edrianne must feel.


	2. Chapter 2

Upon returning to the Rising Stones a newly married man, Alphinaud first questions his sister as delicately as he is able, “How is Edrianne?”

Alisaie sighs angrily, a reaction that no one in attendance, spare Urianger, would have expected. “It is hard to tell, considering that she has hardly left her room since we’ve returned from Ishgard.”

“Must you be so insensitive?” The Warrior of Light asks, offended on Edrianne’s behalf.

“Perhaps if she allowed her family to help her, I would afford her more sympathy.”

“She has hardly barricaded herself away,” Urianger argues, sounding equally—if not more—annoyed, but with Alisaie rather than his daughter. “ _Perhaps_ if you tried, at all, to relate with both of our daughters rather than just the one you understand, Edrianne would be more willing to seek your help.”

Alisaie’s eyes water. Alphinaud studies Urianger’s face for any hint of remorse but finds none. That, in combination with the relatively common language, worries the newlyweds, who’ve long seen Alisaie and Urianger as an unusually functional pair. “I hadn’t realized this was such a contentious issue.”

“Urianger would be perfectly content coddling Edrianne until she’s as old as we are, still hiding in her childhood bedroom.” Alisaie sneers, crossing her arms. “If he truly cared so much about his daughter, he would have convinced her to return home moons ago. I have half a mind to demand she does so myself.”

Comfortably stepping into his role as mediator, Alphinaud clears his throat, “What exactly have you been doing to help Edrianne, Urianger?”

“By-” Alisaie starts before Alphinaud cuts her off.

“I didn’t ask you.” Alisaie narrows her eyes but concedes, remaining silent.

“Allowing her space to cope with her grief, as she has asked, repeatedly.” Urianger answers.

“Which was fine, for a while,” Alisaie argues, again. “But this has gone on too long.”

“Thou grieved for thy grandsire a minimum of five summers before coming to terms with his fate.”

“That-” Enraged, Alisaie shouts, “Is not even comparable!”

“It likely is to Edrianne,” Alphinaud suggests.

“I don’t understand,” Alisaie’s anger transitions into frustration, “How she could have been completely fine during your wedding, only to regress entirely as soon as we returned.”

“Edrianne has always been mindful of hiding her weaknesses from thee.” Alisaie wipes away the tears from her eyes as Urianger speaks, “It was likely misguided of me to assume that this would ever change in the absence of mine intervention.”

Alphinaud, encouraged by this, tries to beckon a continuation. “And?”

“'Tis possible that, by allowing Edrianne to isolate herself for so long, she has only fallen deeper into the pit of despair.” Urianger, guiltily, admits.

Alphinaud turns to his sister with an eyebrow raised, earning only a “What?” in response from Alisaie.

“Any regrets you’d like to admit to?” Alphinaud, impatiently, asks again. “Not even that your abrasiveness might have prevented Edrianne from reaching out sooner?”

Alisaie glares at Urianger, who shrugs. “Thy brother’s words, not mine.”

* * *

Urianger pauses outside of Edrianne’s door before knocking, still unsure if he’s intruding by asking her to confront something she would rather not. But before he can even bring his knuckles to the door, it opens, and Edrianne stands on the other side with a polite smile.

Her eyes give her away, though, and it’s almost enough to make him lose his resolve entirely. She looks as if she’s hardly been taking care of herself, her skin is more pale than usual, she’s unusually thin. He wonders why he didn’t intervene sooner, though the feeling in his gut reminds him of exactly why: it’s torturous to see your own child suffering in such a way.

“Thy uncle has returned,” Urianger states matter-of-factly, and she nods.

“Can you tell him I send my regards?” Her volume is barely above a whisper, her expression an apology.

“Thou art capable of speaking to him on thy own.” He looks past her, and she looks up at him, her eyes practically pleading him to leave her alone, but he refuses to give in. She must detect as much, as she accepts her fate almost as immediately as she tries to sway it. “May I come in?”

“I suppose.” She opens the door and kicks around books and notes to make a path to her desk chair. “Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess.”

Urianger picks up the stack of books on the seat, books about the Ascians and Zodiark, and hands them to Edrianne. The entire scene reminds him of when Moenbryda died, how he buried himself in his studies to avoid dealing with it, as well. If it weren’t for Thancred’s intervention, he might have lost himself entirely. “Thy mother is concerned thou may be disregarding responsibilities at home.”

“I am.” She admits, taking a seat on her bed. “But I can’t go back.”

“Gridania?” Edrianne breathes deeply and nods. Urianger realizes that in the entire time she has been home, he hasn’t seen her show much of any emotion at all. It wouldn’t be like Edrianne to openly express herself, unlike her sister who cried and screamed and shouted whenever she felt much of anything. It’s obvious, though, that Edrianne is intentionally holding her feelings back.

“I can’t-” She sniffles once before shaking her head. “Talk about this. Not now.”

“‘Tis too late for that.” Urianger asserts himself, “I have permitted thee to keep to thyself for far too long already.” She doesn’t put up a fight, nodding sadly and sniffling again. “Why can thou not return home?”

“It wasn’t just my home.” She mutters, avoiding eye contact with her father. “It was _our_ home.”

Urianger is taken aback by this. He hadn’t considered that she had been so committed to the boy already. For someone who seems so emotionally distant, she often surprises him with how intensely she feels towards others. She, unlike her mother, just happened to keep it better hidden from the untrained eye. “I see.”

“I wish you could have met him.” A sad smile crosses Edrianne's face.

“Before he was corrupted by Zodiark?” Urianger clarifies, and she sighs.

“It was hardly an event. He wasn’t corrupted all at once.” She tries to explain, “It’s not like he was good one day and evil the next. Most of the time, even up until the end, he was his normal self and only sometimes, the darker side of him would surface.”

“But the dark overcame the light.”

“When it was just me at stake,” Her eyes start to water, “It was worth it. I could cope with his anger. I could talk him down from his bouts of insanity. But when we came to Ishgard he changed. He wouldn’t listen to me. He wouldn’t even listen to the Emissary. You know the rest.” Her sniffling increasing with frequency, Urianger moved to join her on the bed.

“He wasn’t himself.” He reminds her, and she shakes her head.

“People keep saying that. I keep saying that. But I don’t know if that is even true. He was still in there, I just didn’t try hard enough.”

“From thy description, thou hast _tried hard_ every day since he sacrificed his soul for Zodiark.”

Undeniably crying now, Edrianne wraps her arms around her father, pressing her face into his chest. “I miss him so much.”

“I know.” He hugs her back, allowing her to sob into his robes.

“I-” She chokes out, “just want to be with him again.”

Urianger inhales sharply, knowing this path leads to nothing good. “Thou art young still. I do not wish to trivialize thy feelings, but this will pass, as did mine own sadness concerning Moenbryda. Thy love will inevitably be shared yet again. Do not succumb to thy despair and deprive thyself of said love so soon.”

She pulls away, wiping the tears from her face. “I’m sorry for scaring you. I didn’t mean that.”

“I lack thy ability to perceive others’ intentions, but ‘twas clear thou did.” Edrianne nods, guiltily. “I beg of thee, lean on those of us who love thee unconditionally, seek our aid. Do not allow thine own thoughts to grow darker and darker.”

“I will try,” She nods, “Truly.”

“If thou believest it to be necessary, remain here until thou art able to confront thy home and ordinary life again.” She shakes her head.

“I need to take care of some things. Hiding in here with a pile of books is clearly not helping.” She smiles, “Plus, I need to greet Alphinaud and the new Mrs. Leveilleur, do I not?”

The rate at which she hastily leaves the room, and at which she seemingly recovers from her earlier outburst, concerns him, but he lets her go.

He struggles to shake the suspicion that he might regret that choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter will not be this angsty...


	3. Chapter 3

  
“Any plans for the break, Edrianne?” The night-time librarian asks, and Edrianne glances out one of the few windows. The sun was just starting to come up.

“Catching up on my studies.” Edrianne gestures to the stack of books in her arms and the librarian chuckles.

“Don’t work too hard!” Edrianne smiles politely and leaves, a little guilty that she’s never spoken more than a few words to the elderly elezen woman despite spending increasingly more time in the library during her working hours. One of the drawbacks, Edrianne was finding, of spending all of her free time with a keeper, was that she grew rather accustomed to being awake all night and through the morning hours.

Dawn was easily her favorite time of day. When the tavern crowd has gone to sleep, and the early risers have yet to wake, it was utterly silent. No one’s thoughts and feeling battling for domination against her own. No anxiety from watching someone blatantly lie to someone else.

In summer on days like these, the weather was also quite beautiful. Sharlayan, despite its frigid winters, had unpleasantly warm summers. Dawn provided a nice respite from the unbearable heat and dense humidity.

She unlocks the door to her apartment and sets down the stack of books in the entryway. At first glance, she doesn’t notice the already-lit lanterns, but when she sees the aforementioned keeper perched on her desk, she feels silly for not noticing the lights as soon as she stepped in the door. He notices her—the ear pointed towards the door twitching in recognition of the noise—but doesn’t acknowledge her.

“Had I known you would be here, I wouldn’t have wasted the night away in the library.” Edrianne states.

He’s lost in a book, as Edrianne had been bells ago, his tail swaying slowly back and forth as if he were a housecat preparing to pounce. Edrianne can’t help but smile at the sight, especially when she realizes the book he’s reading is a novel rather than a tome. She so rarely saw him relaxed, let alone doing something for the entertainment of it.

He shuts the book and steps down from her furniture, “I thought you’d left for Eorzea.”

She shakes her head, “I don’t usually go back. Especially not since my father and sister just visited so recently…”

“Well,” He shrugs, stepping forward until there are only a few ilms between them. “We both learned not to make assumptions.”

“Iveh’a,” His eyes light up at her use of his name, “Why are you in my apartment?” Edrianne giggles and the keeper smirks, wrapping one of his arms around her waist.

“It’s a quiet place to hide from my responsibilities.” He answers matter-of-factly.

“A lot of places could serve that purpose.” She continues, looking up into his eyes.

“Because it reminds me of you.” When she scoffs at that, Iveh’a changes the subject. “Anyway, we may have wasted the entire night, but there’s still an entire morning to be had.”

Edrianne nods, kissing the keeper on the cheek and beckoning him to follow her as she takes off her boots. When she looks back at him he raises an eyebrow, and she smirks, removing a few more of her accessories before she climbs into her bed.

Iveh’a joins Edrianne, climbing over top of her and kissing her on her forehead, followed by her cheek, and then hovering over her lips to tease her. The corner of her mouth turned up, she lifts herself off the bed to close the gap between them, and he grins, his tail quivering excitedly.

When he pulls away, he studies her ardently, and Edrianne feels like she could explode from all of the fondness radiating from him. His questioning look implies that her feelings must be apparent as well.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He laughs self consciously, and she shakes her head, pulling him back down by his shoulders, stealing his lips with hers again, running her tongue over his rough lower lip before deepening the kiss. Undistracted by their responsibilities, she feels as if they’re not merely kissing to pass the time, out of teenage lust, or to convince the other to compromise. When they part, they're both out of breath.

“I like you like this.” Edrianne points out, brushing his hair out of his face. He raises an eyebrow.

“Like what?”

“Just…” She runs her fingertips down the side of his jaw and neck, finally fumbling at the collar of his shirt. “I like this, no Hydaelyn or Zodiark or the Echo. Just us. It’s nice.”

“It’s tempting, isn’t it?” He asks, “We could just do this forever, you know. Run away somewhere quiet, live a simple life.”

Edrianne sighs, “If only we were more selfish.”

“If only.” He smiles sadly, and she senses that might have been an offer.

“So what do you want to do this morning?” She asks, anxious to distract herself from the possibility of leaving their current lives behind. Before he can answer, her body betrays her, and she yawns silently.

“How about sleep?” He suggests, pressing his lips only briefly to the side of her mouth and rolling off of her, filling the space between her and the wall.

“Are you sure?” She rolls over to face him and pouts. She doesn’t want to go to sleep yet. She doesn’t want this to end. He nods, and she flips back, letting him wrap his arms around her and pull her up against his chest. She yawns again, settling into his embrace.

She’s more tired than she realized, struggling to maintain consciousness even though everything about the current circumstance is absolute perfection, absolutely worth the sleep deprivation that staying awake would result in.

As she begins to doze off, she hears him mumble something, just barely coherent.

It might just be her exhaustion, but she’s pretty sure he says “I love you.”

* * *

She wakes up surprised to find the spot next to her still occupied. Both of them had shed clothing as the temperature rose, and the feeling of his bare chest against her exposed back was just indecent enough that Edrianne felt guilty about reveling in it.

She could stay there forever. Between the sensation of Iveh'a breathing on her neck, his arms around her, and the calm silence, she’s confident this is the best thing that’s ever happened to her.

He is the best thing that’s ever happened to her.

She lets slip an undignified noise, something between a sigh and a hum, almost a purr, and she’s infinitely thankful that Iveh’a is not awake to hear it.

Well, she thought he wasn't. He chuckles into her ear, and whispers, “I’d expect that from me sooner than you.”

Exasperated, “Why am I so embarrassing?”

“Somehow, I’m in love with you despite that.”

She immediately flips over to see his face, still sleepy but smiling. “So that is what you said last night?”

He laughs uncomfortably, “Is that why you didn’t say it back?”

She freezes, and somehow, through her own nervousness, she can sense his. She doesn’t know how to explain how she feels. She understands and recognizes love as an emotion, and she definitely has plenty of it for Iveh’a. But she’s only aware of love as a state of being in the abstract. It’s not something she’s capable of identifying in others, so she’s not sure where to begin trying to find it within herself. She knows she’s waited too long to respond and she smiles apologetically.

He’s hurt, she can feel it, but he smiles back anyway. “No need to be sorry, I’m not offended.”

She frowns, “Have you ever been in love before?”

Iveh’a shakes his head immediately. “I was raised to believe that love is a myth and that mating is but a necessary evil for reproduction. My mother doesn’t even know who my father is.”

“Clearly you don’t believe the same.”

“It’s part of the reason I left.” He sighs, “I couldn’t live my life anonymously making young women into mothers and spending the rest of my time poaching in the Shroud.”

“I don’t blame you.” Edrianne flinches, not sure if that statement was culturally insensitive. “So how do you define love, then?”

He smiles, “A special kind of madness. Being unable to spend mere bells away from another person without missing them. Not even fathoming a future without them in it. Feeling as if you’ve had a hole in your very being since the beginning of time, and that only this person can fill it.” Through her fingertips, Edrianne can feel his heart beating, and she finds herself captivated by his words, “It’s finding someone who challenges you to be your best but also tolerates you during your worst. It’s feeling your heart skip a beat when you see them, and feeling nervous even though you feel more safe with this person than anyone you’ve met in your entire life.”

She knows he’s sincere. Not because she can sense his feelings, but because she knows him.

She knows she feels the same, even if she can’t express it quite like he can.

She pulls him closer and buries her face in the crook of his neck, “I think I love you too.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Are you certain this is wise?” The blue-haired lalafell asks, holding the key to Edrianne’s cottage tightly in her fist. “Returning so soon?”

“I appreciate the concern, Susu. But I can manage things from here.” Edrianne squats and holds out her hand, beckoning her friend to give her back her key. “I appreciate you looking after it.”

Susuyo sighs, relinquishing the key to the other conjurer. “If you need anything, let me know, alright? We’ve missed you around the Fane, but we can wait if you’re not feeling up to it.”

Smiling, Edrianne assures her friend. “I just need to take care of a few things.”

As she unlocks the door, she pauses, and the lalafell doesn’t leave quite yet. “If you need somewhere to stay, there’s some floor space in my apartment with your name on it.”

“Please, Susu.” Edrianne begs, “I need to do this on my own.”

“Alright. My offer still stands.” Susuyo offers once more, “Take care of yourself, Edrianne.”

Her friend strolls away, and Edrianne stares at the door in front of her. The sun beating down on her neck, she half expects that when she opens the door, she’ll find him asleep in their bed, even though he hasn’t needed to sleep since he gave up his mortality. He just liked doing it anyway.

But when she opens the door, the house is completely still. Memorialized, she can see the conclusion of their last fight before she left for Ishgard, a shattered mug on the floor and a crack in the wall. Edrianne wonders why she didn’t bother fixing it up before going, she usually did, but maybe it was a reminder to her future self of what she’d been through that night.

Shaking it off, she leaves the front door open, walks to the garden, and gathers empty crates. Thankful she’d kept them around when she’d moved from Sharlayan, she carries one of the crates to her kitchen.

She’s halfway through her cookware when her linkpearl buzzes and her sister’s voice is in her ear, “ _I heard you’re back in Gridania!_ ”

She holds onto the pot in her hands, not sure where it will fit in the box. “I am.”

_“So how do you feel about visitors?”_

“Unless you and Ichelle need supplies to furnish a kitchen, I have no need for you here.”

Erleanne snorts, _“I think we are perfectly content on household items at the moment. Why are you giving all of yours away?”_

Because she needs it all out of her life. Other people aren’t going to look at this pot and remember the time she tried to cook soup, and how Iveh’a kept giving her incorrect instructions from F’lhammin’s cookbook, so she ended up cooking something so disgusting she swore she’d never cook again. “Just feels like the right thing to do.”

_“It’s your stuff, I guess.”_ After a few moments of silence, Erleanne sucks in air, creating a bit of crackling noise in the transmission. _“So, one of the new engineers came up with a new turret that I’m consulting on... it draws in debris and shells from the battlefield and projects it back as shrapnel-”_

“Listen, Erleanne. Can we talk about this another time?” Edrianne feels terrible, especially since she does genuinely care about what her sister has been up to. It just makes this more difficult.

_“Of course. I’m sorry I bothered you.”_ The disappointed tone of her voice almost makes Edrianne change her mind, but she says nothing in return. _“I’ll leave you alone. Talk to me soon though?_ ”

Edrianne responds with a noncommittal “mhm” and removes the pearl. In frustration, she throws it and the pot into the crate, possibly damaging both them and the other items beneath them, but she doesn’t care.

She kicks the box to the side as she leaves the room. She had thought the kitchen would have the least painful memories, but she was wrong.

Their bedroom. The rather large ray of sunlight passing through the window and onto the bed reminds her why they picked this house in the first place. It was one of the few properties in the Shroud that lacked tree cover. Strangely, for a keeper, Iveh’a loved sleeping in as direct of sunlight as possible.

She climbs on top of the bed, pressing her face into the mattress and breathing deeply. It didn’t smell like him. Of course, it didn’t. His corporeal form, a somewhat plausible projection molded in the image of his previous self, was unlike a real body in those ways. He didn’t need to eat, or sleep, or bathe. When he touched her, he was always cold, and it never truly felt like skin so much as thickly concentrated aether. As she lay in the sun, she wonders if he still felt the warmth of its light, or if it was just another of his few pleasures lost to Zodiark.

Having had her fill of crying for the rest of her lifetime, she forces her sleepy self out of bed. _She could close her eyes and pretend…_

When she stands, she realizes she can’t stay here. Everyone was right, she isn’t ready.

After walking the entire length of the house, she steps outside, slamming the door without bothering to lock, and heads towards New Gridania. Carline Canopy was certain to have an inn room available.

Or at least a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, and that it's so short. I don't know if I can keep to my original ~daily update~ plan. I underestimated how busy I'd be at work. It will probably be more like twice a week.


	5. Chapter 5

The concentration of aether is so intense that it makes Edrianne ill. If she weren’t weightless in this plane, it would have certainly brought her to her knees.

She gets the sneaking suspicion she’s being punished.

_“My child.”_ The voice commands attention, not allowing Edrianne to ignore it. _“My servant.”_ A wave of nausea wracks through Edrianne again, followed by excruciating pain. _“You seek to disobey your purpose, to follow one of His.”_

“I’m following no one.” Edrianne groans, doubling as the pain intensifies. “I’m doing what I think is right.”

_“You mistakenly believe straying from the path of light is righteous.”_ Hydaelyn does not phrase it as a question.

“We just want-” Edrianne cries out, tears forming in her eyes. “Balance. To stop this cycle of calamity and recovery once and   
for all.”

_“You’ve been tainted by His emissary. If you believe Zodiark would ever be satisfied with peace, you’re a fool.”_

“It’s better than doing nothing!”

_“I could put an end to this now.”_ Edrianne nods solemnly. This is a risk she knew she would be taking. _“However,”_ the pain and nausea cease, leaving Edrianne to catch her breath. _“Thy father, too, often walks the line between obedience and treachery. Do not make me regret my mercy.”_

Before Hydaelyn releases her, she feels a sharp pain across her chest like a flame.

* * *

She comes to on the floor of her flat, curled in on herself. Faintly, she can hear knocking on her door. She seriously considers ignoring it but also knows that her peers have been concerned enough as it is. So she stands, limping to the doorway in her pain and exhaustion.

On the other side of the door, Iveh’a looks shaken. Edrianne tries to dismiss her fear and put on a brave face for him, but his vanishes as soon as he recognizes her, melting away into flirty confidence.

“Nice evening we’re having.”

Edrianne rolls her eyes and smiles, letting him in the door. “You never knock.”

“You’ve been begging me to since we met.”

“I never expected you’d actually do it.” Edrianne smiles sadly. “Hydaelyn spoke to me today.”

“Zodiark spoke to me as well.” Iveh’a looks at his feet, and the look of fear returns.

“How did that go?” Edrianne reaches out to touch his arm reassuringly, and he shakes his head.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Edrianne studies him for a moment, trying to decide if now is the time to press for him to elaborate even if he doesn’t want to, or to give him space. “Do you think that, for tonight,” Iveh’a lifts a hand to brush a strand of hair out of Edrianne’s face. “We could just be Edrianne and Iveh’a? Not servants of Hydaelyn and Zodiark…”

Edrianne nods slowly, sliding her hand up from his upper arm to his chin. She grabs his jaw and pulls him closer, but he’s the one who kisses her. He deepens the kiss immediately, bruising her lips with his. He’s less loving than desperate, a sentiment that concerns her greatly. But she did promise, in a way, not to pry.

When they pull away, his expression is more serious. His pupils are full, and his tail steadily swishes back and forth. He looks like he wants to say something, biting his lip as he stares at her. Edrianne breaks the silence. “What is it?”

“I just.” He wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. “I need to feel close to you right now.” He traces circles on her lower back with his fingertips. “I need to be with you.”

It takes her a moment to realize what he’s asking. She inhales deeply and mouths “oh.”

“You trust me.” It wasn’t a question so much as a statement, but she nods in response anyway.

“Of course I do.” She exhales shakily, showing her nervousness. “If this is what you want.”

He nods and presses his chest against hers. Edrianne winces, and Iveh'a immediately pulls away. “Did I hurt you?”

“We promised not to talk about it.” She smiles sadly, and he narrows his eyes. She carefully removes her robe, not even sure what the burn looks like herself. When she looks down, she sees that an angry red mark stretches from her collarbone to her navel, the skin raised and still tender. The keeper’s breath catches, and not in the way that Edrianne had hoped it would under such circumstances.

“She hurt you.”

“It’s fine.” Edrianne pulls him back against her, ignoring the pain. “I have it under control.”

“I’ll keep you safe.” He mumbles against her cheek, pressing his lips against the skin underneath her ear.

“I know you will.” She lets herself sink into his embrace, not wanting to think about the confrontation and pushing away the memory of Hydaelyn’s anger until further notice. Barely tilting her head to look up, she smirks at Iveh’a as seductively as she can manage. “Where were we?”

“I was about to tell you how completely and utterly in love with you I am.” He kisses her neck and Edrianne giggles.

“Why don’t you show me instead?”

* * *

He’s gone for almost an entire day, something that Edrianne is sure would concern most women in her situation. He does this, though. Disappears for whole days. He prefers to work alone, and he’s smart enough to know that if he mentions something around Edrianne, she’ll ask to join him.

At first, she thinks an intruder found his way into her flat, but the aetheric signature is too distinct. She drops her cane, which she had prepared to use in self-defense, and instead starts sobbing in earnest.

How could he do this to her?

The figure, some poor sod whose body is now possessed with Iveh'a's soul, stands before her, its eyes familiarly concerned. That only makes it more painful.

“N-no,” She stutters. _He used her. He knew exactly what he was doing when he knocked on her door. How could she be so blind? She trusted him._ “You didn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this WILL have a (somewhat) happy ending. In the meantime I just have to continue torturing this poor cinnamon roll.


End file.
